Jambino's Joint

This is frigin' weird! My old blog is back on!

2006-12-24T23:21:00.000+03:00

Now, I have two identical blogs! Should I use this one or the new one @ http://jambinos.blogspot.com/

This is making me both dizzy and schizo! :p

I am only happy when it rains

2006-10-30T22:28:00.000+03:00

Today I went out for a walk and got rained on. It was cool. I love it when I get caught in the rain unprepared and then scurry for cover. It’s as cheap a thrill as one can get in these parts.

People rejoice when we get first rain in Kuwait. It signals the official end of summer and the start of the desert camping season which, by the by, begins officially tomorrow (Wednesday).

Also, when the rain comes early, it means a bountiful truffle (Faqaa) season. Sautéed truffles with brown rice pilaf and almonds, or Risotto al Faqaa, yum! :)

Happy when it rains
Rain and tears
Singing in the rain

Dream Bonanaza

2006-10-27T22:25:00.000+03:00

Ceci n’est pas une pipe

Last night I had at least 10 different dreams, each was a unique episode. I don’t remember all of them, but here are the ones that I still have a trace of.

Dream 1
I was part of an elite Special Forces team preparing for an invasion of a central Asian country, and no, I haven’t seen the trailer to Rambo IV last night.

Dream 2
I was being chased by a lioness (not a lion because she didn’t have long fur around her head). That one actually woke me up in horror because she actually got to me. I was a goner.

Dream 3
My coffee maker is not where it supposed to be in the kitchen and I’m desperately looking for it all over the place. Later I confronted my brother who deliberately hid it in the back of the pantry. I told him: What the hell did you do that for? You know I must have coffee every morning! He didn’t reply. The odd part, I was in my real age and my brother, who’s 2 years younger than me, was a kid (maybe 8 or 9).

Dream 4
This is the scariest one. This is when I finally woke up and said: the hell with it! Enough dreams for one night.

Have you ever had a dream that was real? What I mean by that is you dream that you are in your bed, in your room to the extent that you are not quite sure if you are asleep or awake. Well, I had one of those.

In the dream, I was lying in my bed half asleep and there was someone sitting on the edge of the bed near my feet with their back towards me. That really scared the *&#@ out of me! I remember telling myself wake up man; wake up and it will go away! This is just a dream. I woke up and went straight to my Krups 867 Bistro, and thankfully, it was there :)

Put your lights on
Female of the species
Dreams
A girl

Hard hittin'

2006-10-25T02:00:00.000+03:00

An old flame of mine is hitting on me hard. I got 28957 million SMS messages from her wishing me happiness on the Eid occasion, in three languages! We were childhood friends, but she's married now with kids! YO! Sup? How do I deal with this?

Shall I end it before it even starts?

Mea culpa

Sadness

Only human

Plastic Batman

2006-10-17T01:43:00.000+03:00

My first birthday suit, well OK my second, was a Batman suit. I still remember the smell of the PVC wrap when I opened the box. OMIGOD! I have a plastic fetish!

Have a scary Eid y'all!

Batman
Werewolves
Let's Jam til we drop

My first CD

2006-10-09T02:16:00.000+03:00

Still rocks! So, what's the first CD you ever possessed?

Sledgehammer
In your eyes
Big time

Am I Claustrophobic?

2006-10-07T00:10:00.000+03:00

Updated artwork :)

I never had problems with tight spaces before. In fact, I was stuck in an elevator once for fifteen minutes a few years ago with no light and I was ok. It all started when I went to this home theater shop and tried a demo. I remember the demo room was not small, but it was acoustically and visually treated so you can’t hear any ambient noise, meaning zero light and sound from any external sources.

The guy turned the lights out to start the demo, but he took his time. It was pitch black. You can’t see or hear a damn thing. I felt somewhat disorientated, much like being in a sensory deprivation tank. It only lasted like 90 seconds. Suddenly, my heart started beating faster and I remember how I was desperately looking for light, any light, so much so that I repeatedly pushed the light button on my watch just to see something.

Episode two: The freak out

I was in France on a wine tour. The guide took us to a wine cellar. It was tight, dark and deep underground. The first symptom was again fast heartbeat and a bit of cold sweat. The second was feeling extremely suffocated, like I cannot breath. The third was I WANT TO GET OUT, NOW! I interrupted the poor guide in the middle of his presentation. The exit, where is the exit? I exclaimed. He was like, what exit monsieur? We’re 20 feet underground! And I’m like we’re what? And no emergency exits? I nearly choked him.

I was not like that before. I really don’t know what triggered it. This was never a problem for me, but now I am at a point where I would not go down Oxford Circus tube station if you put a gun to my head. I’m serious. Is this normal or am I losing it?

Wishful thinking
In your room
Cannonball
Candy
خطار

Gimme winter!

2006-09-29T01:35:00.000+03:00

I’m tired of the hot weather. I demand winter already! I want to wear a coat. Coats look cool especially when it’s cold and you’re 6.1. I’m being silly, I know. I’m bored. This Ramadan thing is messing my schedule.

Musica continua. This time it’s a play list :)

Winter Music
BBC News theme. I don't know if I should watch the news or dance. Awesome :)
Adagio for strings

When is it ok to tell strangers to shut up?

2006-09-26T00:08:00.000+03:00

I was on the treadmill working out and minding my own business. Behind me, there was this lady on the NordicTrack machine. Her mobile rings and she answers. She started by saying: “No, no, I hate him, I’ll smash his head (Lebanese saying), and the SOB was shouting at me and I smacked him!” She was not whispering, she was shouting for all to hear! This went on for like 40 minutes, I’m not kidding.

I was this close to telling her: Yo! Lady, take your psychodrama outside, will ya? I can’t hear myself think!

What would you have done, if you were me?

Hyper-Ballad

Being boring

Get off

Flawless!

2006-09-22T00:28:00.000+03:00

I have absolutely nothing to say here. Are thickish eyebrows unattractive in a man? Here comes the music.

Flawless
Fast Love
Flawless (The Ones)
Pump it up! (Greece)

The drive back: A true story

2006-09-12T03:04:00.000+03:00

So, I was with my buddy, his wife and her friend. We went on a night out in a mountainous region somewhere in Europe. We wined and dined and everything was fine as, what else, French wine. My buddy’s wife drove us up there in her 4x4 and now she is going to drive us back. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea since she had a little buzz going.

Problem is, she was the most sober of the lot! So, what to do? I figured, f#&* it! I’ll take my chances. Get in the car and keep your fingers crossed. At the very least, if the car veers into the valley, I would have a glamorous death like Grace of Monaco (reasoning from hell, I know, but I was drunk so sue me).

Moments into the ride, the couple starts to argue over what music to play on the car stereo! I’m like ok, just a friendly disagreement between husband and wife about whether we’re going to be entertained by Green day or Nina Simone. The argument evolved into each of them pushing the play button to play their choice. This went back and forth and soon it developed into a scene from “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?” And this is what happened next.

Me: ALRIGHT! STOP THE CAR! STOP THE F****G CAR, NOW!

I get out of the car and…

Me: YOU! BOTH OF YOU! COME OUT HERE NOW!

They come out of the car quietly like two little children about to hear a word or two from Papa.

Me: Listen! I love you both to death, but this is not my idea of doing it. Are you trying to f***g kill us all??

You could hear a pin drop.

Me: YOU! (Pointing at my buddy) sit in the back, and YOU (his wife) no music whatever till we get to the hotel, Capice??

We made it to the hotel alive. End of story – not quite.

The next day I woke up hung over and all, and I thought to myself; Jeeezus, did you really do that? Man, you got some balls! And you know what happened next? They both apologized to me and thanked me for probably saving their lives (not to mention mine) on the drive back.

End of story :)

Heartbeat
Amazing
Wundervoll
O.D. on this Electro-Goth

Greece is nice!

2006-07-30T01:52:00.000+03:00

Santorini is the bomb! Sup! :)

Ya Baba

Herese

DJ Dimitri

They say it's your birthday!

2006-07-11T22:35:00.000+03:00

Dang! I'm getting old.

Thinking of a master plan

2006-07-08T00:29:00.000+03:00

This is a journey into sound...

I was too tired last night to write anything in this post to go with the music. What surprised me is within seconds of posting it my blog was bombarded with hits! I think it’s all the people googling “paid in full.” To my knowledge, this classic tune is out of print. Check for yourselves.

Amazon does not have it and Amazon UK has three used vinyl singles in the auction section selling for 10 pounds plus each. I don’t believe it is available in CD format. I looked everywhere with no luck. You can get the Eric B. and Rakim original version, but not the Coldcut version which is what I have here (it’s not really a remix; it’s almost an entirely different track). Enjoy before the powers that be yank it into oblivion.

Paid in full

Pump up the volume

Im Nin' Alu

Why do they call it a wedding?

2006-06-30T17:03:00.000+03:00

Yesterday I went out to vote. It was hot, but it was quite festive. I voted in my old high school. As luck would have it, our house is a stone’s throw from the women’s polling station, so the whole family gathered on the lawn and we put out plastic lawn chairs on the pavement for the volunteers, some of whom were standing there since 8 a.m. All and all, it was great fun with shawerma stands and Starbucks muffins (no kidding); it felt like a block party, but without the music.

Today, I am pissed (not drunk, but angry, well maybe both). Mr. Chanel bags won by 23 votes! 23! All this work and effort by Shurouq and many, many others and this guy gets away with 23 votes! I know it’s not fair, but I am looking for someone to blame.

White wedding
You can't
Lively up
Songs that sound the same

ILL communication

2006-06-25T23:28:00.000+03:00

This exchange occurred today with a European lady (EU) who has a heavy accent.

EU: Emma is a perfekchinees (perfectionist).

Me: Chinese? I thought Emma was British!

EU: ??

Me: Mumble something and move on.

In unrelated news, has anyone noticed the disappearance of paper coffee filters from the local market for over two months now? I looked everywhere from Sultan to Adailiya coop with no luck!

Like coach Lombardi used to say in his lovable Brooklyn accent: “What da hell is going on out dere?" Does anyone know where I can get cone shaped coffee filters for a drip coffee maker?

Diner
Here comes the night
Rock n' Roll suicide

Shurouq! You are something else!

2006-06-22T04:23:00.000+03:00

How did you do that? You bloody frigin' ROCK! I am so proud to make your acquaintance online. :)

Zarathustra
Praise
The power

Gothica

2006-06-13T02:06:00.000+03:00

Deep, down, dark and full of sexual undertones.

Replay
The desert
Lost
Free love

The World Cup as a commodity

2006-06-10T01:05:00.000+03:00

Some people are upset that ART has monopolized the World Cup broadcasting rights in the Middle East and North Africa. Excuse me folks, but, had they not done that, you would get nothing! No World Cup, no games, nothing! Most governments in the Middle East cannot afford to buy the rights from FIFA for millions of Euros and then simply broadcast the games for free; Saudi Arabia can, but certainly not Jordan or Morocco.

The ART group seized the opportunity and bought the rights from FIFA wholesale and now they’re reselling it to you and me, the viewers, retail. Think of them as the GUCCI retail agent in Kuwait. He or she buys leather bags wholesale from Italy and then sells them to you with a markup that makes his effort worth his while. He sure as hell isn’t going to give you Gucci bags for free, is he now? So, calm down, pay the fee and enjoy the games :)

All about
Duh
Copa Vida

OK stands for Oll Korrect

2006-06-05T23:04:00.000+03:00

Back in college I had the hots for a JAP (Thanks Z for bringing up the subject). She was a total preppy JAP from Long Island. She drove a Saab, her parents had houses/condos in Aspen, Florida keys… etc., and she was a carbon copy of Molly Ringwald, with her delicate features, luscious lips and a lip-smacking pout.

Anyway, I did not pursue this relationship too far partly because she was Jewish. Like most people here, I was brainwashed not to like Jews. I figured, at the time, what if this thing gets serious and it leads to the altar. What am I going to tell my folks here? Besides, what are the chances of her wanting to move out here anyway?

In other news, the critical path method was created by the DuPont corporation during the 1950's as means to uncover the cheapest way to accomplish something.

You're not alone
Fuck them all
Carly

Nothing

2006-05-30T01:30:00.000+03:00

Today I did absolutely nothing, except shift liquidity to money market instruments with attractive yields. I did nothing to help people, nothing! I need a break.

Addendum

The first time I heard "Tear drop" I was in an Irish pub in Paris. It was raining outside. An NFL playoff game was on the big screen. I was sitting on a stool on the bar when this song came on the sound system. Two stools away from me sat a “Goth” girl, alone. She moved her lips to the lyrics. She sang the whole thing while everyone was cheering the Green Bay Packers. It was one of those existential moments.

What do you do?
Tear drop
La Wally

United to offer non-stop flights between Washington, Kuwait City

2006-05-25T14:36:00.000+03:00

CHICAGO (AFP) - United Airlines plans to begin offering non-stop flights between Washington and Kuwait City, the Chicago-based airline said.

Three weekly flights will be offered beginning in late October, pending approval from the Kuwaiti government. United said it will be the only US airline to offer nonstop service between the United States and Kuwait.

The flights will depart Washington on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday evenings and arrive the following day. Flights will depart Kuwait City shortly after midnight on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays and arrive early that same morning. Continued.

-----------

Three direct flights from D.C.weekly? Should we read anything into this? Open skies? Open Kuwait? Project Kuwait? Hmm. I bet the Kuwaiti students in the US will be thrilled about this. Just imagine all the frequent flyer miles you can rack up!

Beautiful

Revolution!

2006-05-22T23:54:00.000+03:00

Revolution: a drastic and far-reaching change in ways of thinking and behaving.

Hell hath no fury! The Kuwaiti woman is in the mix now! You go girl! I'm lovin' it! :)

You won't fool the children of the revolution
REVOLUTION MIX

We miss you!

2006-05-19T23:57:00.000+03:00

Certain Members of your family are messing up the place, and they are forcing us to deal with them! We don't want that, but they are pushing us! What do you suggest we do my lord?

My Lord
Give me love

Am I being scammed?

2006-05-16T00:52:00.000+03:00

I’m being contacted by credit card companies lately with unusual frequency, and by that I don’t mean e-mail spam, I mean people calling my mobile!

American Express called me last week to set up a new gold card from Bahrain! Visa called me long distance from New Jersey, or wherever the hell they are located in the US, to sign me up for a gold visa card! What’s going on? Anyone else had this experience?

Buddy Holly
Song 2
Come as you are
Gotan Project

What is it about her?

2006-05-10T00:07:00.000+03:00

I can't get enough of Edith Piaf. Is she a Goddess?

Addendum: I listen to Piaf when I am feeling either angry or sad. Right now, and given what’s going on in the local political arena, I feel both. See you in “Sahat Al-Alam”. Anyone knows where I can get an orange T-Shirt?

Rien
Padam
La vie en rose

People power

2006-05-06T00:49:00.000+03:00

This seems to be the season for peaceful, popular protests. Last year at this time it was blue (women’s vote) and this year it’s orange (five constituencies).

Regardless of the cause or the color, I am really thrilled that people are getting used to the idea of peaceful protests. I hope this becomes a regular feature of Kuwaiti political culture, just like the diwaniya.

If there is anything you don’t like about the running of this country; organize, assemble and protest. It’s your inalienable right. Power to the people!

Teach your children well
How soon is now?
Perfect Day
Pet Shop Boys (Megamix)

Define arrogance

2006-05-03T00:45:00.000+03:00

Lately I have become self-conscience about my national identity. I have this stereotype of a stereotype that we are an arrogant lot. It just occurred to me today during meetings which included people from Arab countries and the Gulf. I was actually thinking during the meeting: “Hey Jambino; what you just said may sound arrogant to some people here”.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it; it occurs to me during meetings. Am I overreacting to the stereotype of Kuwaitis? Or could it be that I am almost always asked: “Are you a Kuwaiti?” I am not going to apologize for being a Kuwaiti, and look “Damn it!” just because I am a professional who works hard DOES NOT mean I am not from this country! I love my country and I am damn proud of it, and I am a pro too!

There, I feel better now :)

Sorry about this rant, but I needed to vent a bit :p Anyway, here comes the music..

La Grange
Bama
Statesboro blues
Red House
Ambient Redneck

I'm in a redneck state of mind, so sue me :P

Bang a Gong!

2006-04-24T21:41:00.000+03:00

Dang! Dubai is a British colony for real! Everywhere you go, its the FA cup this, and the Rugby League that, not to mention Robbie Williams in concert. But, it was all in good fun, and I got to enjoy authentic fish n’ chips and endless pints of Guinness at the Irish Village. I’d be shocked if I didn’t gain at least two kilos, or should I say 12 stones :p

Get it on
Rock n' Roll
Linger
Half a person

Videodrome

2006-04-17T21:29:00.000+03:00

Today I had my first fully fledged business meeting via satellite video link. The meeting was over an hour long. It was like a regular meeting, except I was talking to a TV. There was no time delay so it was like having someone there, but in a box.

Tomorrow I’m going to the UAE to have a meeting with real humans and to inspect some sites. Any of you been to Ras Al-Khayma (RAK)? I will stay in Dubai, but I will need to drive to RAK using the new Emirates highway. The buzz on RAK is that it's the next Dubai. Let’s see.

Wishing
Golden years
Iran
Daysleeper

Tramp

2006-04-08T21:39:00.000+03:00

I was thinking today, I lived in so many different places. By that, I don’t mean traveling, rather I mean dwelling. I lived in 14 different places, from the house where I was born to where I live today. This is quite a lot for someone from Kuwait, especially someone who is not associated with the diplomatic community.

I always have this nostalgic feeling when I revisit the places where I used to live. I’d look at the balcony where I used to stand and stare at the horizon, and the spot where I used to park my car.

I really have no problem living in different places. I remember the first time I went to the States to study. All of the Kuwaiti kids around me were freaking out; missing their families and their home cooking and what not, except me. I had zero home sickness.

I am not an extrovert, but I can make friends quite easily. People seem to like me for some reason, so I have no problem being part of a new group of friends; in fact, I enjoy it.

I said "I" 22 times in this post.

Around the world
Like you
The Hook

Say it ain't so!

2006-04-06T01:24:00.000+03:00

Somebody tell me this is not true. I just saw him yesterday in our Diwaniya and he was his usual bubbly, sociable self!

Bad Boy

2006-03-30T22:47:00.000+03:00

Back in the day when I lived in lower Manhattan, we used to go to this joint called Nell’s. Is it still there? I remember I B.S.ed the D.J. once and told him I am an Arab prince and I want to franchise their place in “Arabia”. I had a major buzz going at the time, but he believed me anyway, and he introduced me to one of the owners, so wussup! :)

Keep it real
Hypnotize
Edit This

Burnout

2006-03-20T00:13:00.000+03:00

It’s not exactly stress, although the symptoms are quite similar. It happens around this time of year, like clockwork. I really need a vacation, but I can’t take one at the moment. How long can I act professional? I’m using my reserves right now.

Dear God
What if

Lingerie Volleyball

2006-03-17T21:19:00.000+03:00

Today I was at this beach joint that shall go unnamed, and there was this lady playing volleyball with a bunch of guys while wearing lingerie. Well, it wasn’t lingerie, but the thingy ladies wear to “cover” their bikini, but by Kuwait's standards its lingerie.

She didn't play well, but she was all over the place and she took her sweet time bending over to fetch the ball. The poor guys were salivating. It was pretty funny and I’m starting to sound like Mark.

The girl from Ipanema
Desafinado

Amado Mio

2006-03-08T02:17:00.000+03:00

I really, really want to see these guys live! I'm so in the mood! Benus Aires, 1940! Just what the doctor ordered. Nothing like a Pink Martini when you need a lift.

Sympathique
Amado Mio

Everybody hurts

2006-02-27T22:12:00.000+03:00

Today I had an existential experience of sorts. I went for a walk around our old area and I saw many old houses being sold for “Hadam” (not suitable for living) to people with lots of cash. I went to our coop and wandered around the isles. I bought Crest toothpaste and Dove body wash. Then I spotted this old man with what appears to be his daughter at the cashier. He must have been at least 70 and his daughter maybe 40.

I walked out of the supermarket and headed to the Indian Samboosa stand in the back allies of the coop. It was a bit of a walk, but I felt like Samboosa for some reason.

There they were, he in a banged up old Lancer outside while she in her abaya inside waiting for her order. I stood about six feet away from her. She looked so sad. I really wanted to talk to her. I wanted to ask her why she was sad, and if there is anything I could do to help. It was like a black and white scene from “Wings of Desire.”

Uninvited
Everybody hurts

Release Da Tension

2006-02-21T00:21:00.000+03:00

Do you think a joint like this one would make it in Kuwait? People like sushi here, no? :p

Make yourself at home chill mix
Release Da Tension (when the warning thingy comes on, just say no)
Late night mix
Pre-dawn rough mix

Bullet in a Bible

2006-02-17T19:59:00.000+03:00

I ran out of new DVDs and I wanted to get some now. I can’t wait for Amazon, so despite my lack of enthusiasm, I decided to bite the bullet and head out to Virgin, on a Thursday afternoon!

Marina mall was surprisingly not that crowded, or maybe I’m becoming more tolerant of crowds. Either way, I was able to find a parking spot with relative ease.

Now, here comes the difficult part; finding a decent DVD to watch at Virgin. I whizzed through the flyover towards Virgin while muttering: “Please God, make them have something decent, just one DVD pleeeeeeease.

True to their name, their DVD section was devoid of anything interesting. War of the Worlds, Shaft, Sex in the bloody city (enough already of this crap) and Sing along with Barney, were the featured items of the day.

Just when I was about to throw my hands and walk out with nothing, I looked right and there on the new releases rack was Green Day’s “Bullet in a Bible” DVD/CD combo. I figured what the heck, at least it’s new.

I am not a diehard Green day fan, but I do have a couple of their CDs. I wasn’t expecting much from this concert. I thought it was going to be loud and rowdy and I’ll get bored with their shenanigans within ten minutes. Boy was I wrong, and what a pleasant surprise it was.

I watched the whole damn thing and I wanted more! This was a solid, professional, tight band playing great music. The sound quality (and I am as finicky as they get when it comes to audio quality) was very good, all in 5.1 glory. The concert was recorded outside London (Milton Keynes) last summer in the outdoors to 65000 screaming fans and the energy was incredible.

So, if you’re a Green Day fan, go to Virgin and grab a copy right now. If you’re a rock/punk fan, I highly recommend it, especially if you liked “American Idiot” and who didn’t.

That’s all for now. Ta ta! :)

September ends (touching)
Brain stew
Good riddance

Pub Grub

2006-02-13T20:27:00.000+03:00

Today, while I was channel surfing after work, I stumbled upon BBC Prime and “East Enders” was on. It immediately made me feel like pub grub. In fact, it made me feel like going to a pub. Since we don’t have any pubs here, can anyone tell me if there are any places in Kuwait that serve traditional English Fish & Chips, complete with malt vinegar and tartar sauce?

Cheers :)

Don't bring me down
Tainted love
Girl

LEGO's latest toy offering

2006-02-10T23:35:00.000+03:00

Now, quit horsing around and put em' back on the shelve, Sultan Center :p

Denmark's finest musical export thus far :)
The man who sold the world (vinyl version)

Brain Drain

2006-02-05T00:45:00.000+03:00

Today I went to one of my relative’s "Milcha". At first, I thought what a drag, but then I met some of my cousins and they were really cool. One of them was born in our house (not literally). I remember I was 5 or 6 when his mom, my aunt, spent 40 days in our house (Nefas or something).

He is now the VP of operations of a major European company. He flew to Kuwait for the occasion. He was “Head hunted” from a local corporation who lost him to this huge European conglomerate.

I won’t name them because he is the only Arab there, and I don’t want to invade his privacy. But, I am so darn proud of him. GO Coz!

Ode to joy (The European Union Anthem from Beethoven Symphony no. 9 sung in Danish)
Presto in D minor

Hamas boycotts Denmark and the EU

2006-02-01T15:43:00.000+03:00

Ok, let me get this straight. You have no country, you live off US and EU handouts, your government is in internal strife and your biggest problem is... (drum roll please)

------------

GAZA (Reuters) - Palestinian gunmen said on Monday Danes and Norwegians visiting Gaza could be attacked unless their governments apologize after newspapers printed cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed.

"We warn the citizens of the above-mentioned governments against not taking this warning seriously because our groups are ready to implement it across the Gaza strip one of the gunmen said, reading from a prepared statement. More

Basket case
Crazy
Crazy ass Latin house

You got to love this Constitution thingy

2006-01-25T22:28:00.000+03:00

The Constitution, this largely neglected and disdained document by some, bailed us out in a big way yesterday. Everyone in the Gulf region was watching in awe as events unfolded. Here is what the FT had to say about it.

________

Sea change for Gulf as Kuwait ousts emir

By William Wallis in Cairo
Published: January 25 2006

Kuwait's parliament voted unanimously yesterday to depose the country's ailing new emir in an unprecedented move with uncomfortable ramifications for the region's dynastic autocracies.

Unlike in the Gulf's other sheikhdoms, sultanates and kingdoms - Saudi Arabia, Oman, the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain and Qatar - the powers of Kuwait's ruling dynasty are checked by a parliament with real influence over decision-making. More

Jazz Master

Say it ain't so Sheika Latifa

2006-01-24T17:01:00.000+03:00

Queen Latifa; not to be confused with Sheika Latifa.

Dear Sheika Latifa,

I heard from more than one source that you were behind the last minute fiasco which turned the abdication of your husband and our Emir into a forced removal by Parliamant. Were you?

Were you behind the unsigned letter that was sent to the Parliament? We all know that our dear Sheik Saad is barely aware of his surroundings. We also know that Sheik Salem Al-Ali finally succumbed to the popular will and agreed to Sheik Saad's abdication. So who did this?

Are you happy now that Sheik Saad will be forever remembered as the first, and maybe only, Emir to be removed by Parliamant? Did he deserve this? Shame, shame on whomever was behind this.

Update

Apparently the story was even more dramatic than previously thought. According to Al-Seyassah newspaper, Sheika Latifa had a list of demands that must be met before she surrenders the letter or allow the delegations to meet with Sheik Saad. The list includes a private jet and a 10 million KD annual allowance! Details here.

Black magic woman
How can you expect to be taken seriously?

Kuwait as a clinic

2006-01-23T03:26:00.000+03:00

Skh. Jabber ALSubah Kuwait's late ruler (left),
Mr. Ezzat Ebrahim, and Skh. Subah ALSubah current
prime-minister (Circa 1937)

I love this country so much, it’s ridiculous. I am dead certain that 99.99% of the Kuwaiti bloggers feel the same way too. The Fasttelco debacle was ludicrous. We complained, we moved fast and we put them to shame, so much so that they reversed their ill-advised decision in a heartbeat (I actually felt sorry afterwads for the tech-support guy I shouted at, he seemed clueless).

The tiny minority who caused this, did it out of stupidity and ignorance. They are so stupid, they blocked their own blog. Ignore them.

Now, to a more serious issue. The rest of the Gulf are watching us go through this, and hopefully they are learning from us. Kuwait has always been a leader in politics and we still are. Let us hope and pray that the process plays out peacefully and within the purview of the constitution.

Let us set an example; let us show the rest of the Gulf that democracy is not impossible in this part of the world.

End of sermon

Across the universe (Lyrics)
Grapevine
Joy

Frigid-Air

2006-01-19T02:43:00.000+03:00

The thermometer says 4 degrees Celsius! Where are we, Siberia? Where is the fireplace when you need it? My primal instincts are kicking in. I'm hungry and I feel like red meat. :)

Are friends electric?
Waiting for the night
Head Hunter

Constitutional Monarchy

2006-01-18T00:23:00.000+03:00

Anyone who follows my blog knows that I steer clear from politics. It's just not my cup of Maciatto. However, the recent events in Kuwait made me ponder something which I think is important for the future of this country.

I venture to suggest that the vast majority of us felt a sense of personal loss at the passing of our late Emir. Why? I mean, why personal? The reason, in my humble opinion, is that Jaber was more than a head of state to us. He was a symbol, a father figure, and a significant part of our “Kuwaiti-ness”. The British have their Queen, the Japanese have their Emperor, and we have our Emir.

Just as the Queen is part of the British identity and the Emperor part of the Japanese identity, the position of “Emir” has become part of the Kuwaiti identity. Maybe not by design, but that’s how it is right now.

You want to test this hypothesis? If you are a Kuwaiti, how would you feel if someone, especially a non-Kuwaiti, insults the Emir? One word: Angry, right? Why? Why would you take it personally? You take it personally because the Emir is not just a man, he is a symbol. Like it or not, the Emir is part of your identity.

Try the same test with the British or the Japanese. They’ll likely tell you: “Ridicule and insult the Prime Minister all you want, but don’t you dare come near our Queen or our Emperor.

Therefore, for the sake of Kuwait, I am now convinced that the position of Emir and Crown Prince should not be involved in the day-to-day running of the country. This is the job of the Prime Minister who is accountable to the people through the Parliament with the “blessing” of the Emir. It is time for our political system to evolve and live up to its name as a Constitutional Monarchy.

Just my two fils.

Kuwait The Brave

You are in our hearts

2006-01-15T20:21:00.000+03:00

Jaber Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah

1928 - 2006

Tears from the stars

Kiss (your forehead)

Happy birthday Wolfgang!

2006-01-12T02:37:00.000+03:00

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 1756 - Forever

Saliery: "Can you recall no melody of mine?"
Priest: (Offers a bored, apologetic look).
Saliery: "Ah, how about this one."
Priest: "Yes, of course! Oh, that's charming! I didn't know you wrote that."
Saliery: "I didn't. That was Mozart; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart."

Selected works

Overture . From Le Nozze di Figaro.
Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (A little night music)
*Allegro
*Serenade
Symphony No. 40 (If you are an Arabic music fan, think Fayrouz;)
The Queen of the night. From the Magic Flute.

News related to the 250th birthday festivities.

Can you fill me in?

2006-01-07T18:15:00.000+03:00

Anyone read this book?

From Amazon.com

"Kuwaiti teenagers and sisters, Lora and Dana, accompanied by their cousin, Jenna, sneak off to Cyprus, where they are immediately involved in a series of very funny, and sometimes (okay not sometimes, ALWAYS) dangerous misadventures. They are assisted in their escapades by Pedro, a Mexican taxi driver who is in-capable, in-adequate, and in-sane. Besides Pedro, they are followed everywhere by Dora, another Kuwaiti teenager who is as narcissistic as she is comical. When they are befriended by a holy monk named Moody-Na-Na, how are they to know he secretly intends to kill them? For three girls far from home and family, Driving Down the 101 can prove more dangerous than exciting!"

Fill me in

Happy New Year

2005-12-31T14:39:00.000+03:00

Corny, but goodie :) All sing along at the strike of 12. Lyrics here.

Happy new year
Fairytale of New York

Lunch buzz

2005-12-22T17:22:00.000+03:00

Today I had lunch in the veranda. It was great! I had Chicken Machboos and I washed it down with chilled Stoli (I love contrasts). Now, I have this nice buzz going, but no plans for the evening. Looks like another DVD weekend.

Fluffy clouds (Extremely extended techno-chill mix :)
Deep House (sit back while I pour you a drink mix)

Louis Vuitton hijab: Fresh and girlie

2005-12-19T14:04:00.000+03:00

This is from The Herald Tribune. My advice; use fashion trends in the region to your advantage and start accumulating LVMH now! The stock has been on fire since May of this year and it has nowhere to go but up, especially if oil stays above $50 and China continues its boom. Happy shopping :)

A woman
Where do diamonds begin?
Baby, its cold outside

________

Putting the accent on accessories

By Jessica Michault
International Herald Tribune
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 2005

There is a saying that the clothes make the man. In the Middle East, accessories make the woman.

In the booming economies of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and the United Arab Emirates, finding the perfect luxury accessory is the key for a woman wanting to put her best face forward.

"A European woman can express her personality and individuality by the clothes she wears out on the street. Here they can only do this through accessories," says François Ganes, operation manager for Fendi in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. He is referring to the traditional long black abaya worn throughout the Middle East, which only leaves visible the hands, feet and, in some cases, face.

The sober and traditional Muslim dress restricts the ways in which most Middle Eastern women can communicate to the world their social status and fashion savvy. But this limitation has only intensified their focus on the handbags, shoes, scarves, sunglasses and jewelry that make up the luxury accessories market.

The top-selling accessories in the Middle East are not the practical bag, the comfortable pair of shoes or the staid head scarf. Here the bags have to pop with color, shoes have to sparkle with crystals and, it seems, a face looks more much more attractive when the head is wrapped up in a luxury logo foulard.

"These women are very happy and positive people, and they are incredibly generous, not only buying for themselves but a lot of the luxury items are also meant for gifts," says Damien Vernet, general manager for Louis Vuitton in the Middle East and India. He adds, "They particularly love accessories that are fresh and girlie and anything that is very fashionable and up to the minute."

Continued

Memoirs of a Geisha

2005-12-15T00:34:00.000+03:00

I remember reading the book in Ibiza in the summer of 2001, or was it 2000? Anyway, it was a nice beach read. Now, they made a movie out of it. I wonder if they will allow it to be shown here? Let's listen to some Chinese music, shall we? *

Geisha
Solo

*I realize Geishas come from Japan, but what the hey :)

Hospital Culture

2005-12-11T23:51:00.000+03:00

My aunt is in the hospital, so is my sister and her husband. His mom is in the hospital, so is her brother. He is in the hospital, so is his nephew; he is in the hospital and so is his father who is in the hospital along with his wife.

I am this close to slitting my phuckin’ wrist to stop visiting people in hospitals! Somebody shoot me please. I don’t mean to be rude, but this is really getting to me. All of these people are in their 60s or younger, much younger! What the Phluck is going on? Why are people dropping like flies?

Comfortably numb
The Wall
The Wall2
A momentary Lapse

I love Christmas

2005-12-09T22:08:00.000+03:00

I do. I always set up a Christmas tree and the works at home. I love to invite foreigners who are far away from home at this time of the year. It makes me happy to see them happy. Sometimes I get invited to their parties too. This is from my diary on Christmas eve, 2003.

“Yesterday we had Christmas dinner with the Italian Carabinieri. They are Italian military police helping to keep the peace in Iraq. I was surprised that they were not young! Many of them were middle aged family men. They didn't speak any English, but luckily they had a translator. We had jolly talk about Verdi and La Scala and they were sooo happy. We made a point of bringing many children to this event in the desert. We wanted to have a "home/family" atmosphere.

Man, they were so happy, showing pictures of their kids and all. Before I left, the host said thanks for coming, you don't know how much this means to them ....etc. and I'm like, I'm happy to be here. Thank you for inviting me. Later, my friend told me 17 of this Italian Carabinieri regiment were blown up and killed in a terrorist attack in the southern Iraqi city of Nassiriya a month ago."

Peace on Earth people, peace on Earth.

Happy Xmas
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Last Christmas

Talk to me baby

2005-12-03T21:00:00.000+03:00

Somebody once told me: “You can look at losing money in the NASDAQ as a status symbol and an excellent conversational starter”. Well, tell that to my balls, you schmuck! We're in Kuwait! We don’t have bars where I can go and boast about my losses and maybe get lucky in the process.

Never you mind, the NAZ is doing a serious about-face from its 2000-2001 levels. Tech bellwether and semi-conductor manufacturer AMAT is at a five year high so is the online broker ET. AMAT is on the NAZ while ET is on the NYSE, but they both have a serious correlation to the market as a whole. One is cyclical and the other is interest rate sensitive. Keep an eye on interest rates.

It’s starting to look good baby. Come to papa!

Fool
LAmour
Stripper Music
Kein Zuruck

40 Fils Biscuits

2005-11-29T23:17:00.000+03:00

Back when I was an embryo, we had these sandwich biscuits with lemon cream and sometimes vanilla in the middle. If I am not hallucinating, they were called Carnival.

Today, I went to my Coop to get some, but they had none! Instead, there was a clone called KITCO WANT!? It tasted like cement mixed with butter.

Wussup with that? I want the original Carnival! I have a serious craving going (no, I'm not pregnant :). Does anyone know where I can get the real deal?

La Soledad
iTrance Portuguese

I'm trippin' on Turkey

2005-11-26T22:17:00.000+03:00

That's it! New year's will be spent in Turkey. I want to party silly to this music.

Sivas Halayi
Istanbul or Constantinople?
Or, you can jam to this. (Warning! This is a very long mix and it's all over the place :)

Is nature playing a joke on us?

2005-11-23T00:06:00.000+03:00

Why are men programmed to get it over with while women are designed to linger? Por qué?

Bolero (Linger)
Crush (Get it over with)
Head (Bonus)
If (Conditional)

It must be the tie

2005-11-19T00:23:00.000+03:00

Today I delivered a speech, well a presentation of sorts, in one of Kuwait's finest hospitality establishments. Afterwards, I went out to grab a glass of .... (I wish), no, a glass of water :p

Intelligent Q's & A's ensued. Nice, but why do they always ask me towards the end of the conversation: "Where are you from and how long have you been living here?"

Could it be the tie?

Music

I’ve had it with Paris Hilton

2005-11-16T22:16:00.000+03:00

I made a habit of searching the wire services for news while sipping on my morning coffee and nibbling on Oreos. She always shows up in the top ten most read stories!

Ok, I realize she is pretty and rich, but there are many pretty and rich babes out there. How come she’s all over the place? Her girlfriend’s friend of a friend even made it on Larry King today, for crying out loud. I believe it was Lionel Ritchie’s daughter or something.

I bet you this, porn aside, more women have an interest in following up on Paris than men.

And one more thing Paris, stop calling me, damn it! I'm through with you :p

She's in fashion
Morena Latin mix

Cement mixers are evil

2005-11-14T22:43:00.000+03:00

There were at least seven of them on the right lane today, slowing down traffic trying to exit to Kuwait city off the Fifth.

I am this close to leaving this country and relocating somewhere else thanks to these evil machines.

Wheel

Old Burgy is showing his age

2005-11-12T14:56:00.000+03:00

Burgan is 60 years old. Happy birthday Burg! Sixty in oilfield years is very old and it’s beginning to show on old Burgy, the world's second largest oilfield.

According to the chairman of Kuwait Oil Company Mr. Farouq Al-Zanki, Burgan’s output will drop from 2 million barrels per day to 1.7 million over the next 30 to 40 years which is what it has remaining in its forecasted natural life. Other estimates put it as low as 1.5 million barrels per day.

Before you run to the bank to withdraw your nest egg of Dinars and buy Dollars so you can hide it under your mattress, remember this. As Kuwait’s output drops naturally over time, there will be a price hike to make up for the difference. Meaning we will produce less, but more expensive oil, so in the end the total sum of the revenue will be the same.

The real danger is global price inflation (because goods will become more expensive to produce) which will eventually hit us making the Dollar, and our Dinar along with it, worth less than before.

Make no mistake, the day will come when our oil runs out, maybe even in our lifetime. The question is: Are we ready for it? What will Kuwait look like without the oil?

The End

Macro events that can affect you

2005-11-09T19:49:00.000+03:00

The Dollar is in a solid uptrend that started in early 2005. Today, the Greenback hit a two year high against the Euro fueled by rising interest rates in the States vis-a-vis Europe which is flat. Fears of the unrest in France spreading to the rest of Europe didn’t help the Euros case either. Today $1 can buy you 0.85 Euros. Compare this to late 2004 when it could only fetch 0.74 Euros.

This bodes well for the Gulf countries. The one-two punch of the appreciating Dollar and high oil prices will open the floodgates for fresh liquidity to pour into the Gulf States. This liquidity should help Gulf markets to go higher in the intermediate term.

A second, more theoretical effect is the easing of inflation in GCC countries that collectively have their currencies pegged to the Dollar while importing many of their goods from Europe and Japan (the Yen is also falling). In other words, European and Japanese goods should become cheaper as the Euro and the Yen sink versus the Dollar.

Golden years badly mixed 80s music, but, it can be fun under the right circumstances :p

Naive Song

Focus baby, focus!

2005-11-08T23:59:00.000+03:00

A schmuck once told me: "If you're smart and goodlooking, you're bound to be depressed". Which is better, to be smart, goodlooking and depressed or to be sutpid, ugly and happy? Phluck knows.

Nevermind. In late July and early August, out of concern over political instability related to the passing of their late king, I liquidated my Saudi position. Recently, I repositioned back into Saudi (and the UAE) . The country is a political and social basket case to many observers (can you blame them), but as long as crude stays above $50, the Saudi SE is going nowhere but up to 17000+. So far, so good.

Utopia

Holiday Blues

2005-11-06T01:47:00.000+03:00

In my book, it's either work or play. This half-assed bulls**t celebration is messing with my mood. Four days are not enough to fly to any significant place like Paris. Maybe Dubai, but, "b'saraha, mali khulg" Dubai right now.

Speaking of Paris, who needs Stephane Poompougnac when you have this guy? This bloke is the K-Mart DJ of lounge music. Consider it Costes on a budget. Enjoy! :)

Walk on by
You got that
Dig the groove
Costes 5 2
High Noon

Darwinian logic

2005-11-03T23:46:00.000+03:00

I could use that stripper right about now. Today was one of the most tedious and boring days in recent memory. It was supposed to be a celebration, but it felt more like work. I could also use a slug or two of Bourbon at Bada Bing Bada Boom*

*The strip joint owned by Tony Soprano in the HBO series The Sopranos.

Tear drop
Unfinished Sympathy
Diversified Portfolio Chicago Mix

Identity

2005-10-31T22:43:00.000+03:00

Older Kuwaiti gentlemen are a dying breed (and I do mean gentlemen, not just men). I usually see an overrepresentation of them in bank branches for some reason (duh).

Tonight I went to one of these branches to get “Kharda” for the “Eidiya” and, lo and behold, there they were; older Kuwaiti gents! Some of them were in wheelchairs. I recognized one of them and I was like why is he here? This guy practically owns the M**F** bank!

It has to do with identity. Its part of his identity to go to the bank in his area on the eve of the Eid to get “Kharda” for his grandchildren’s Eidiya. He can’t help it. It makes him happy. It will depress him to do otherwise.

Sixty4
The Sea
Femme
Music better (Eidiya mix) Happy Eid y'all :)

Salam, Shalom II

2005-10-29T00:20:00.000+03:00

I have this fantasy of travelling to Israel. I really want to visit this country; just to break the taboo, if anything. I am fascinated by it.

What are the logistics for a Kuwaiti to get there? Thanks to anyone who bothers to read my blog and is willing to provide an answer.

Salue!

سيرافيم
עטיפה אחורית

Happy hour

2005-10-27T22:34:00.000+03:00

This year, Eid Alfitr coincides with Halloween (or is dangerously close to it). I am sure you are all thrilled at the prospect. Trick or Eid, Treat Mubarak y'all!

Peaches
Golden Brown
Throw up mix

Global Therapy

2005-10-24T23:55:00.000+03:00

Today I went to Global for the first time. The place is located in one of the country’s ugliest buildings. The underground parking felt like a nuke shelter. After struggling to find the elevator, I pushed the # 2 button and suddenly I was in pastel heaven.

For a moment, I wasn’t sure if I was there to invest or to have Feng Shui therapy. The interior was clearly designed by someone with an aesthetic totally divorced from the world of finance. It was quite refreshing actually.

Nevermind what I think about their décor; this company is rocking and rolling and many of the major decision makers are women! It was such a nice breath of fresh air :)

Sign on the dotted line mix.

2 am at Denny's

2005-10-22T23:01:00.000+03:00

It’s around 2 am at a Denny’s somewhere in suburban America. My buddy, his grumpy older brother (visiting from Kuwait and speaks zero English), and myself are getting ready to order.

Waitress: Would you like to hear our special of the day?

Us: Mmm, grumble. Uh, no.

Me: I’d like to have a patty melt.

My friend: Make that two.

His brother: Abi the special.

Waitress: The special comes with a salad. What kind of dressing would you like?

Brother: Sheno?

Waitress: We have Ranch, Blue Cheese, Thousand Islands, Vinaigrette or French.

Brother: Mako Zubairi dressing?

Me: In stitches.

Chicago
Everybody

GO SOX!

This one goes to Erzulie :)

Fall

2005-10-21T01:23:00.000+03:00

The temperature is cooling down quite nicely

It's no longer 45 degrees in the shade

Good golly hallelujah!

It must be fall in Kuwait :)

Dreaming

Jaded

2005-10-17T23:22:00.000+03:00

"Picture of a man", Tamara de Lempicka (1928)

As you get older, you become jaded. Things that excited you when you were 20, like the release of a long awaited CD by your favorite artist or flying to London, will mean next to nothing to you today. So, boys and girls, whatever it is that tickles your fancy, enjoy it while it lasts.

Cheers.

Nothing is real
Alizee

Sleep

2005-10-16T01:59:00.000+03:00

Ramadan hours are phunking up my biological clock.

Broken sky
Insomnia

Time

2005-10-13T23:53:00.000+03:00

This post was entered at 21:59 GMT / 00:59 Kuwait time, I swear. NASA would attest to it! Anything to make Safat happy :)

Time
Wait
Feel
Slave
Monday

Professional vs amateur

2005-10-13T01:47:00.000+03:00

I just finished watching the interview Christiana Amanpour conducted with Bashar Al-Asad on CNN. I almost feel sorry for this guy. Does he really have a medical degree from the UK? His English is almost as good as the cashiers at Mr. Baker. And what’s up with switching to Arabic halfway through the interview?

Bashar switched to Arabic with an English voiceover at the halfway mark for reasons unknown to anyone but the Syrian intelligence service, I suppose. This piece reminds me of the interview Dan Rather had with Saddam in early 2003.

Loser

Salam, shalom

2005-10-13T00:21:00.000+03:00

It appears that we are no longer at odds with our cousins. Watch this space.

Imninalu
Hava Nagila

Strange

2005-10-12T01:14:00.000+03:00

Have you ever been in a situation where you see someone in public who looks awfully familiar, but you are not sure if it’s someone you personally knew from high school or it’s somebody you’ve seen too many times in the newspapers? Well, it happened to me today. It turns out this guy is both.

Libertango

Drive

2005-10-10T00:06:00.000+03:00

I hate driving, I really do. What’s more, I don’t like cars. To me, they are a necessary evil. Why can’t I just beam myself to work? Why not?

This evening I went to the dealerships in Al-Rai district opposite Sultan Center to look for a new car because my old one is busted and I am not in the mood for fixing it anymore. Ladies and gents; do not buy any cars from this company. It’s a scam, I’m telling you, the worst made cars in the universe.

Anyway, do you guys have any recommendations? A CD changer is a must, other than that I really don’t give a rat’s ass.

Thanks.

Drive
Take me out
For a girl

To normalize or not to normalize

2005-10-07T17:12:00.000+03:00

I made it a daily habit to do a “news” search on Kuwait when I fire up my computer. I usually get repeated stories and many uninteresting stuff from the Gulf press…etc. But today, I got the same story about Kuwait from five different sources and it is quite an important one I think.

Apparently world markets think it’s a forgone conclusion that Kuwait is well on it’s way to normalize relations with Israel. Why? Because signing a Free Trade Agreement with the US automatically means lifting the decade’s long boycott of Israeli goods and services. This will eventually lead to economic relations and then diplomatic ones. Bahrain already lifted the boycott by formally signing a FTA with the US and it seems we are next. Qatar, the UAE and Oman already have contacts with the Israelis.

The coverage started with this piece in the New York Times a few days ago. Now, the idea is being tossed around all over the place. Here is a sample:

Kuwait eases attitude toward Israel, is slated to lift boycott
From the Israelis themselves.
Pro-Palestinian Kuwait looks at easing up on Israel
From the Chicago Tribune. This is the same NY Times article.
Breaching a taboo, Kuwaitis talk of softer stance on Israel
Ditto from The Herald Tribune.
Bahrain, Kuwait to mend Israeli ties
Khaleej Times
Cramer's mad money recap
Talks about an Israeli firm entering the cellular hardware market in Kuwait.

Meanwhile, our press is asleep at the wheel. Needless to say, this is going to be one hot potato for our government and our parliament. Is our government going to sign the FTA without the knowledge or consent of parliament or are they going to fight it out with them? Time will tell.

Have a cigar
Wish you were here

Historical markers

2005-10-06T01:51:00.000+03:00

Pop psychologists define historical markers as artifacts a person acquires to identify the end of a stage in their life and the beginning of a new one. It could be something as simple as changing perfumes or as complex as buying a new house.

Couples who break-up, for example, often feel the urge to do something to mark the end of their relationship. Sometimes it involves changing the color of their hair or losing weight or buying a new car. Evolutionists tell us this is simply a signal to alert potential mates that they are back in the “mating market.” Others suggest it is only stress release.

In the end, real estate agents, spas and car dealers make a bundle off of this human mechanism. Which one would you rather be, the one who benefits from human nature or the one who’s on the receiving end of this process?

Undone
Candy

Happy happy! Joy joy!

2005-10-05T00:33:00.000+03:00

I love Ramadan, I really do. I love calling Mom and 2700000 million cousins and uncles and repeat the same words. I am thrilled beyond words.

RamalamaDingDong Mix

Lounge

2005-09-30T22:35:00.000+03:00

Just in time for Ramadan ;) What would you call this virtual restaurant/lounge if it was yours?

Hopeless *

*1 hour+ mix. DSL minimum.

The apprentice

2005-09-28T20:40:00.000+03:00

Here is another SH dandy; this time from the Asian Football Confederation (AFC). The dialogue goes something like this.

AFC chairman: "Mr. Taqi."

Mr. Taqi: "Yes."

AFC chairman: "You’re fired!"

Mr. Taqi: "But, why?"

-------------------------------

AFC’s Kuwaiti VP quits due to absenteeism

Saturday, September 24, 2005

KUALA LUMPUR: The Asian Football Confederation (AFC) said Friday its executive committee had unanimously accepted the resignation of vice-president Asad Taqi from Kuwait because of his absenteeism. “The resignation has been accepted on the grounds of Taqi’s continued absenteeism from the meetings of the AFC Executive Committee and thus, inability to fulfill his function in this elected position,” it said in a statement.

“The AFC Executive Committee will decide on the future course of action in its upcoming meeting in November 2005 in Kuala Lumpur.” An AFC official told AFP that Taqi had failed to attend executive committee meetings “for more than six months”. AFP

Pure Faith
True Faith
Recycled Faith
Heresy

Million Dollar baby

2005-09-25T17:14:00.000+03:00

No, not the movie, which sucks in a big way by the by, but an offer from someone who has a million bucks to blow on a nice home back in the good old US of A. This someone is partial to the East Coast and he only has a million dollars to spend.

What would you advice him to do? Where to buy and what to buy and why? In return, he will offer you free usage of the property when he’s not there, not to mention the Benz, for a whole calendar year! What would you advice this hypothetical person?

Oh Lord

Pout baby pout!

2005-09-23T19:01:00.000+03:00

Some people have a remarkable knack for f*cking up their lives, or at least their career. This is a category 4 SH.

Cocaine
Lust for life

Hey poor!

2005-09-21T23:43:00.000+03:00

You don't have to be poor anymore. Jesus is here!

No sex until marriage!

Sh*t happens!

2005-09-19T01:00:00.000+03:00

I was sitting with a bunch of people around a bonfire on the beach during my recent vacation. They were playing bongos, congas, tablas and other types of percussion instruments. It was fun, very hippy; when suddenly the guy on my left, in his enthusiasm, burst the skin (is that what they call it?) of his tabla. I looked at him and spontaneously said:

“sh*t happens!”

There was a moment of silence, and then suddenly everyone burst into laughter. It kind of took me by surprise because I didn’t think I said something that funny.

Needless to say, this event inspired me to develop a Grand Theory of “Sh*t Happens” (SH). But first, definitions. SH are bad things that happen to you when you least expect. There are four types of SH depending on magnitude, predictability and control.

1. Drastic, unpredictable and uncontrollable SH. For example, the Tsunami that hit Southeast Asia late last year. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it except control the damage.

2. Moderate, unpredictable, but controllable SH. For example you get food poisoning while vacationing in Ibiza. You call emergency services and they will give you an enema. It’s not pleasant, but you will live to see another day.

3. Mild SH that is both predictable and controllable. For example, the tabla incident above. You know that if you hit the tabla hard enough, its skin will rupture. Solution; go to your nearest tabla dealer and get another skin.

4. Finally, Sh*t that is waiting to happen. Here, you know that sh*t is going to happen sooner or later, but you keep putting yourself in a position where you are simply asking for it. For example, you like to drive fast, you own a Porsche, you get piss drunk on weekends and you always insist on driving yourself.

Do you have your own examples of SH?

Hook

Love for sale?

2005-09-15T23:04:00.000+03:00

It's my last day in Europe. My bidness partner decides to give me a treat, so he took me to a strip joint. I’m cool, no problem. Beautiful girls shaking their booty, music blasting, Dom P passing. I’m feeling like Puff Daddy or pif diddy or whatever the hell his name is.

I think we were the only customers there that night. So, this stripper chick is dancing all over me. Again, no problem, they’re only doing their job, right?

Anyway, to make me happier my buddy paid extra for this chick to take me to a private room and dance for my pleasure. Leave it to me (Jesus Christ) to say whoa, sit down girl; let’s talk. So, your name is.. blah blah. What do you do besides this?

It turns out she was a nursing student and this was her part time job! In the end I said thanks, I enjoyed talking to you and I wish you all the best and I got up and left the “private room.” I had to catch a flight early in the morning.

As I was getting into the car, I hear a female voice shouting behind me. I turn back and it was the stripper, wearing a robe and asking me for my phone number! Very unprofessional; don’t you think? A stripper running after a customer? I hope they didn’t fire her. We must have connected on another level; at least according to her.

Smooth

The perfect quickie

2005-09-14T00:19:00.000+03:00

You really want it. You want it bad and you want it now! You’re just not in the mood to call someone and wait. Well folks! Here is your salvation:

1. Chopped onions.
2. Two slices of the finest European sausage, chopped.
3. In a large, deep skillet, pour extra virgin olive oil.
4. Drop the onion and sauté until nearly soft.
5. Drop the sausage, stir and smell. Yum!
6. Drop a can of peeled tomatoes, crush them and stir as you go, adding a spoon or two of tomato paste. Simmer until the sauce is thick.
7. Meanwhile, the Spaghetti is boiling. Drop it in the skillet over the sauce when it’s al dente; toss for a minute or less.
8. Garnish with chopped “gargeer”, yes gargeer and chopped Greek Kalamata olives.

Enjoy with a salad consisting of assorted greens, steamed asparagus, topped with roasted pine nuts, sesame seeds and shavings of Parmesan. The dressing is simply Modena balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil.

Amore

Drink

2005-09-11T20:26:00.000+03:00

Me (talking to a good buddy of mine on the phone): Hey, I just got back. How was your summer?

Buddy: و الله ماكو، قاعد في الشاليه و تنكر فودكا بالنهار و تنكر بلاك ليبل بالليل

Me: Umhm

Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that people drink more when they are in Kuwait, where booze is illegal, than when they're outside where alcohol is as legal as water?

Drink

Heroes

2005-09-06T01:04:00.000+03:00

This man may look like Henry Rollins at the climax of one of his gigs at CBGB, but he is not. This man is Kuwait’s Ali Al-Zenkawi and he just won gold at the Asian Atheletic Championships in Seoul, Korea. Why do we insist on ignoring our heroes?

Rock you!
Champions

Take the money and run

2005-08-01T22:38:00.000+03:00

I got out of the Saudi, and all of the Gulf markets for that matter, effective today; what with the King passing away (RIP) and all, I have no stomach for choppiness. Besides, I’m off on vacation soon and “mali khulg” any surprises. So, I unloaded with 14% in the plus column over the past six weeks or so.

Listen to this. Did you know that if you lose a stock certificate in Kuwait, you have to report it to the police station? I’m not kidding; if you lose a certificate, especially an IPO, you have to report it to the “Makhfar”, just as if you were mugged in a back ally somewhere in Khaitan!

The issuing company will not give you a replacement without a police report. No wait, it gets worse! Afterwards, you are required to put an ad in “Al-Kuwait Al-Yawm”, publicizing the incident for three months before you can get a replacement! It doesn’t matter if the cirtificate is worth one million or one hundred KD.

Arrivederci i miei amici :)

Go on

Why am I here?

2005-07-26T23:41:00.000+03:00

Stage one, I cleared 8%. At stage two it went to 12%. Stage 3 equaled 18%, then it went to 23% and now it's 36%! and you are not happy? Phuck U A** hole! I am going solo. Thanks for the experience; I need you like a fish needs a bicycle right now. No hard feelings ;) Sh*t happens :)

Money

Local children folklore from hell

2005-07-21T18:42:00.000+03:00

A European fellow, who is about to embark on producing some children's programming for local consumption, asked me if we had any mythical children's figures he could build some characters on, as in Pinocchio or Peter Pan. I told him sure; we have "Hmarat El Gaila" (midday donkey), "Khathra Um Eleef" (a green woman with hair like a loofah), "El-Tantal" (a tall guy with an attitude problem) and "Shaikho El-Adada" (a girl named Shaika with sharp teeth who would bite your ass on the spot).

How come all of our children's mythical characters are aggressive, beastly or simply nuts?

Our house

Bookcase Thug

2005-07-13T22:54:00.000+03:00

I have a pretty good home library, if you're into trade books that is. I am not really into fiction, save the few I had to read as part of my formal education. I look at the titles in my bookcase and they go something like: "Applied Multivariate Regression Analysis" or "Non-Paramertric Statistics for Business." I do have the odd "Great Gatsby" or "100 years of solitude", but the vast majority are depressingly technical. My appreciation of the visual and performing arts is way out of sync with my reading habits.

Basketcase thug :)

IGottaGetOuttaHere!

2005-07-10T22:49:00.000+03:00

The weather is crap, but business is good. No, business is not good, business is great! But I’m too darn close to the burnout stage and I don’t like it. I’d really, really prefer to be hiking somewhere in Europe rather than doing this, but I can’t go, not just yet. Too many things on the line and I have to be here. Give me strength, please, give me strength! Oh, how I would love to be totally wasted on some beach in Sardinia right now.

Pressure